Record Review: Hospice by The Antlers

Band: The Antlers

Album: Hospice
Released: Aug 18, 2009 on Frenchkiss Records
Genre: Folk, Indie Rock
Tracks: 10

Don't you just love feeling depressed? I know I sure do. You know what really makes me depressed when I'm feeling happy? Albums about dying loved ones.

To be blunt, Hospice, a concept album by Brooklyn-based band The Antlers, is a real downer. That's not to say it's a bad album; there are plenty of great melancholy albums. Just figured I'd warn you. From what I've ascertained, the album is about a man watching his wife/significant other begin to hate him more and more while she dies of cancer. Or, as the track "Bear" suggests, his pregnant wife/significant other. How's that for a bummer, eh?

Anyways, that gives you an idea of what's going to go down. The album starts off slow; The "prologue" is just a bunch of noisiness filler, don't really know what it's doing there. But hey, not my album. It blends into "Kettering" (a hint as to the nature of the story) which is a really moody indie ballad type thing. Same deal at the beginning of "Sylvia," but The Antlers begin to hit their stride here - the horns-over-fuzz combo demands a Neutral Milk Hotel comparison, though the album as a whole isn't much like them.

Anyways, "Sylvia" is followed by more quiet crooning bullshit, followed by a bunch of noisy filler bullshit.

This is my biggest complaint with the album. If you were to trim all the filler (and I'm excluding the barely audible mumbling and keyboards from "filler"), this album is nearly cut in half. Nothing drives me nuts more than washy nothingess where music is supposed to go. Sure, it's "moody" and "atmospheric," but when it gets down to it, it's a lie - that isn't a three minute song, it's a one minute song which is bookended by distorted humming.

That being said, the next song, "Bear," is clearly the best song on the album. It of course has the quiet plodding keyboard chords that The Antlers seem to be the masters of, but the singing is clear, and the lyrics are wonderful and just fucking heartbreaking:

"There's a bear inside your stomach.
The cub's been kicking from within.
He's loud, though without vocal chords
We'll put an end to him.
We'll make all the right appointments.
No one ever has to know.
And then tommorow I'll turn 21."

...

"Well we're not scared of making caves.
Or finding food for him to eat.
We're terrified of one another.
And terrified of what that means.
But we'll make only quick decisions.
And you'll just keep my in the waiting room.
And all the while i'll know we're fucked.
And not getting unfucked soon.
When we get home we're bigger strangers than we've ever been before.
You sit in front of snowy television, suitcase on the floor."

You can go ahead and compare it to "Brick," I'll wait.

But I mean really, that is some fine, fine songwriting if I do say so myself. The singer does a fantastic job with delivery, as well; you can hear pain in his voice. And on top of all that, the chorus is actually catchy! No more of that muted, subdued moaning!

Oh wait. Two minutes of noisy filler, followed by muted, subdued moaning. But it's a woman this time! I suppose I'm being too harsh, this song isn't too bad (once it gets to the goddamned song), and it almost sounds like old Songs: Ohia.

Actually, the rest of the album is pretty great. "Two" is a fun, Noah-and-the-Whale-esque indie pop number with a matching catchy-as-hell melody, "Shiva" softens up a bit, but is still firm enough to constitute an actual song, and I really liked the "Oohs" and horns in the back half of the song; The lyrics are heart-wrenching as well, but if I start describing them I might get tears in my neckbeard/on my laptop (Macbook, of course) and there's no women in this trendy coffeeshop to see how sensitive I am.

(Kidding)

Honestly, reading the lyrics to this album would be like reading the script to a Tarantino movie with all the expletives removed. You've gotta listen to it.

Anyways, this album accomplishes its job of being one sad motherfucker if nothing else. It'd be fantastic if they just cut the bullshit and played music, but as it is it's pretty good. The high points are great, the low points will make you feel like your pregnant wife is dying.

Best Tracks: "Bear," "Two," "Shiva"

Record Review: Hypermagic Mountain by Lightning Bolt

Band: Lightning Bolt

Album: Hypermagic Mountain
Released: October 18, 2005 on Load Records
Genre: Noise Rock
Tracks: 12

Holy sweet goddamn this album will wreck you. Have you ever fallen into a machine which was constructed out of several hundred tons of disassembled mining equipment and built by a sadistic mad scientist? Yeah, well, pretty much the same thing.

The album starts out with what sounds like the last two seconds of a song, followed by a banjo-string-on-an-electric-bass solo, followed by a swift kick to the teeth.

Alright, that's not true, the first track, "2Morrow Morrow Land" isn't a high point, but it certainly does nothing to ease you into the album; It says in a maniacal shout, "IT'S BEGUN." Well, a maniacal shout into a telephone receiver which is then run though distortion and echo. But you know.

Lightning Bolt then hands us three of the hardest-hitting noise rock jams ever created. If they did this by the ocean, they would wake Cthulhu. "Captain Caveman," "Birdy," and "Riff Wraiths" feel like punches to the face. That's really what makes this album so goddamned fantastic - you don't hear a whole lot, but you feel it for sure. Every bass note that goes through the speakers feels like a your heart is bursting out of your chest, all the frantic drumming feels like you're caught naked in a hailstorm.

It's fucking relentless. You get a minute-long break at the beginning of of "Mega Ghost" with some ethereal vocals, but this is mercilessly shattered by the crash of cymbals and the crack of snare, and from there it's a long 40 minutes until "Infinity Farm."

This album is long, noisy, exhausting, and fucking incredible.

Best Tracks: "Captain Caveman," "Birdy," "Mega Ghost"

Record Review: Neon Creeps by O Pioneers!!!

Band: O Pioneers!!!
Album: Neon Creeps
Released: February 10, 2009 on Asian Man Records
Genre: Post-Hardcore/Punk Revival
Tracks: 10

After seeing O Pioneers!!! perform with Andrew Jackson Jihad and a handful of other bands a few weeks ago, I picked up Neon Creeps (I later found out that I could download it for free from Quote Unquote Records, but I’m happy to support the band).
Neon Creeps sounds like a record Bear vs. Shark would have made two albums before their debut, prior to discovering the ability to play soft or whisper. It captures all the riotous energy of the big, crashing parts of Bear vs. Shark, and the singer even sounds quite a bit like Marc Paffi, but the band rarely changes tempo and the volume is pretty damn consistent throughout. That isn’t such a bad thing: they do what they do well, and they stick to it, but some diversity would be nice.

The album gets off to a great start with “Saved By The Bell Was A Super Good Show” (These guys have been hanging out with Bomb the Music Industry! way too much) – I dare you to not be singing “Drama, drama, drama!” after hearing the song.
Saved By The Bell Was A Super Good Show

The second track, “The Architect Of Disney World” is another quick, loud number, which is followed by “Dead City Sound” which slows the album down a tiny bit.

The next three songs are, respectively, about: How it sucks to be poor/depressed, how it sucks to sit around and do nothing, and how “everything will be alright”. O Pioneers!!! has DEFINITELY been hanging out with Bomb the Music Industry! too much. The first two are average at best, forgettable at worst, but the third – “Stressing The Fuck Out” is really pretty fun, but is of course immediately followed by two more average/forgettable songs.

Track nine, “I So Told You So,” is easily the best song on the album – it’s a really great combo, being catchy, immediately different from the rest of the album, and with lyrics that everyone can relate to – “I wish that I didn’t have to say/I told you so/But I totally do/And it feels so damned good!” Sweet, sweet victory.

Oh, the last song is pretty good too, about cool kids and whatnot – to be honest though, you’ll probably be skipping it to get back to track one. I can’t comprehend why “I So Told You So” wasn’t the closer, but hey, it’s not my album.

Best tracks: “Saved By The Bell Was A Super Good Show”, “Stressing The Fuck Out”, “I So Told You So”

Introduction

Hey, I'm Cameron. This is a music blog. That idea hasn't been done to death and then urinated on by someone who drinks acid, right?

Anyways, I figured I'd introduce myself as a musically inclined individual.

I grew up on my parent's music as I'd imagine many people do. My mom wasn't really into music, but my dad sure was. My childhood consisted of near lethal doses of classic rock (The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, The Doors), Eric Clapton, The Counting Crows, and above all else, Bruce Springsteen. I still remember being in my backyard in California when I was a kid whenever I listen to August and Everything After. The older neighbor kid played a lot of Blink-182 and Sugar Ray, I liked that.

In 6th grade, I started to actually listen to my own music when I was introduced to Linkin Park and Story of the Year by a friend. We all have to start somewhere. Around the same time, I got into Yellowcard, too, which I suppose could be a reason why I prefer instrumentation besides guitars and drums. Towards the end of the year, I listened to a copy of Dookie by Green Day which my dad owned. Looking back now, I have no earthly clue what the hell my dad, an aging hippie, was doing with that album. In any case, that got me into a big punk phase for a half a year or so. I didn't dress punk or act punk or really do anything besides insisting to my friends, all avid Metallica fans, that punk didn't suck.

In 7th grade, I got started on some decent music. I discovered Cake pretty early on, and Pressure Chief became my new bible. It was around this time that I started playing guitar, which probably had a pretty considerable impact on my musical preferences; though punk gave me a good starting point, I quickly discovered that when it came to skill on the instrument, Green Day blew dogs for quarters. I started listening to a lot of My Chemical Romance and The Matches, both of which were some of my favorite bands. I also became a huge fan of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, which probably had a lot to do with the fact that I was learning bass at the time.

Some time around January of that year, two things happened within days of each other, both of which had a big impact on my life. I went through my first breakup, and soon after discovered ska when I bought Turn the Radio Off by Reel Big Fish. Everyone's first breakup is a bitch. I know now how stupid and petty it all was, but my fragile little pubescent 7th grade heart had been broken, and I was picking up the pieces to a soundtrack of bitter, bitter music - mostly Alkaline Trio and Reel Big Fish.

After I came out of the whole break up thing - a time which was a lot longer than I'd care to admit - I went into a big prog rock phase. Well, "prog-rock": In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3 by Coheed and Cambria was pretty much the only thing I felt was worth listening to at this point. I learned every song on the album: Coheed more or less taught me guitar. I think it was around this time that I discovered Streetlight Manifesto, but I didn't think much of it, and didn't make any real effort to track down more ska.

Freshman year of high school for me meant a shitload of ska. The aforementioned Reel Big Fish was still a big deal for me, and Streetlight Manifesto became my favorite band for a good two years. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Goldfinger, The Planet Smashers, Less than Jake; If the guitar played on the upbeats, I loved it. Somewhere along the line, I made two very important discoveries. Defiance, Ohio got me listening to as much Folk-Punk as I could get my hands on (I still can't help but listen to The Great Depression every winter) and "post" became my favorite prefix. Bear vs. Shark started me on Post-Hardcore, Pelican on Post-Metal, and Do Make Say Think on Post-Rock. I was diversifying quite a bit.

Then I started listening to a little bit of Weezer. Then a lot of Weezer. Then I finally realized that Pinkerton is the greatest album ever made, and Weezer pretty much ate my life. There has been no other point in my life where I have listened to an album as obsessively as I listened to Pinkerton. I won't go into how much I love this record because I'll tip my laptop over with a massive erection. Of course, nowadays it's not as big a deal to me as it used to be, but it's still my favorite album of all time.

Most of my junior year was same old same old, nothing worth mentioning, really. Towards the end of the year, I became completely addicted to Math Rock, starting with Tera Melos. I had listened to Don Caballero before then, but Tera Melos really got me into it. A bunch of Noise-Rock found its way in there.

That's pretty much it.